Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dream

I had a dream about Jeremy Sunday night. He was porceline looking and I knew he was an angel, but I hugged him and I could feel him as if he were there and not in my dream. His chest was bare and it was perfect. Scar free and perfect. He told me he would never leave me. And he gave me the courage to make the change in my life that I needed. I have been so scared to raise my four kids alone that I rushed at the speed of light, into a marriage that neither of us was ready for. I know I am not alone in raising my babies. I have so many wonderful friends. I have my parents and I have Jeremy helping from above. I never have enough energy for them, but I do have enough love. Thank you so much to everyone. Jill, thank you for calling me all the time, it seems, right when I am falling apart, you are always there. Emily, thank you so much for texting me at all hours of the night. Tiffani, thank you for dropping everything and getting my kids because they are scared of the lightning. Rebecca, thank you for not saying "I told you so", even though you had every right. Mom and Dad, thank you for everything. David, thank you for loving me enough to leave me. Most of all thank you Melodee, Brandon, Cameron, and McKenzee for being forgiving of your crazy mother. I need to grieve Jeremy's loss. I never did. I just went numb. I need to be Sara, and I need to take care of myself.

9 comments:

Ho Ching Happenings said...

Sara, you are amazing and will make it through this. I love you.

Cicily said...

I'm sorry and also happy for you that you are wanting to make things right in your life. We love you and are here whenever you need us.

Ben and Maggie said...

Sara, You made me cry again. I love you so much. I am sorry you have been having a hard time. You are such a strong woman and you will make it. I admire you for having the courage to do what is right for you and your kids.

The Lowes said...

Sara,
This is a hard thing for you to do but I'm proud of you for making the changes necessary in your life to become happy. I hope you will call on me if I can ever help you. I love you so much.

kati said...

Hey Sara, you know I am here for you. I love you tons and hope life gets easier for you and the kids. I am here whenever you wanna chat! (or dance...) LOL!

Nikki said...

I am so proud of you Sara!

fishingvswife said...

I am so proud of you. I know this hasn't been easy for you and your kids. You are very strong and we will get through this time in your life together:)

Jill

Stina said...

i love you sara! i'm here...not very close but whatever i can do...just let me know! <3

Ann said...

So many prayers have been said for you. Keep remembering that you are equal to doing what you need to do for yourself and your children. As you stay close to Heavenly Father and those called by Him, you can keep your little family on track to healing. It will take some time, but it can happen. And then you'll be ready for whatever great adventures you are blessed to have. You are loved by so many. Remember who you are and your birth right.

PS I haven;t said it will be easy. It won't. But it will be worth it. It took Eric 5 years. But becasue he took the time, he was ready for the blessing of marrying Brooke.