Saturday, January 31, 2009


Melodee, Kenzee, my friend Angie, and me went up to Heber today. We were so excited to be there. My boys didn't go because they spent the night at Danny's. Bless you Danny. You saint. We checked out to see if Jeremy's Thirst Buster mug was still on his grave and it was frozen to the ground. I don't think it will be going anywhere soon. Melodee was so mad when we had to leave so that is why she is a grouch in the first picture. We definately didn't see everyone that we wanted to see, so we are going back.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I just wanted to let everyone know that I am doing better. I am okay with my new life. Jeremy was my life for almost twelve years. That isn't the easiest thing to wake up one morning and he is gone and my life changed forever. However, I did know it was coming. It was obvious that he was not going to make it much longer. I had been preparing my self for an early end of the marriage ever since I found out that he had Crohn's disease. You know we always preach preparedness. You can never fully prepare for the death of a loved one. I am okay with my new life. It is what it is. I could never get to where I am without my family and dear friends. I love going to the gym every morning. Two months ago I swore off excercise. I like it again. I love talking with my friends there. i am trying to get my mom to go now too. It would be good for her health too.

Jill I miss you!!! You are so awesome! I needed you and you were there for me. I hope you had just as much fun together as i did. I am so greatful to be close with Heidi again too. Joyce I love that we have always been able to be work out buddies. I would be lost with out my lifelong best friend my sister Rebecca. I am so greatful for Leah checking on me everyday even out of state. I miss you here. What is the deal? I show up and everyone leaves. .....I am so greatful to have my mom home again. Life is normal again. We can never express enough thanks to our moms. Nate calls me on his way home from work just to chat. I love you ALL!!! Thank you so much for being in my life!

Saturday, January 17, 2009


We try to do fun stuff at least once a week as a family. Today we went and saw Hotel for Dogs. It is a good movie. All the kids enjoyed it, especially Mel because she thinks that Jake T. Austin is super HOT!!! All four of the kids said their favorite part was when the foster parents fall into a dumpster full of doggie bags of poop and they say, "We are in deep doo doo". Of course they love the poop parts. I love taking my kids to the movie because they all enjoy it and we always have a good time together, as long as everyone has their own popcorn and soda and no one has to share. It is the one activity that all of us enjoy doing together.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Good bye Heber!

We moved down to Mesa today. It was very emotional for me. I love Heber and I love the community! We will miss everything about Heber. Even the dang cold snow. I actually loved the adventures that the snow gave us. I hope we will meet again. I know I will be there every Memorial Day to visit Jeremy's grave. Hopefully by then we will have a decent grave marker for our Jeremy. Kenzee and I left Jeremy his famous pepsi mug. Kenzee said we were leaving a drink for her daddy in case he gets thirsty in his box.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Zoo trip

We went to the zoo with my friend Heidi Anderson. Only Brandon and McKenzee went with me though. Melodee and Cameron spent the night at cousins and didnt' go. I bought McKenzee a leotard and she wouldn't wear it, so Melodee tried it on. It is a little snug but it is sad that Melodee can fit in it.

Brandon's surgery

Brandon finally had surgery to drain that lump on his neck after like three weeks of it hurting him and three trips to the doctor.

Christmas Pictures

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Two months

It's been two months since Jeremy passed away. I love that Rascal Flatts song, What hurts the most. The music video describes exactly how I feel. So does, Just a dream by Carrie Underwood.

Christmas seemed to last forever. I ended up taking Brandon to the ER on Christmas night. The abscess on his neck was getting worse. He was admitted and spent a week there. During that time, I had several anxiety attacks from the flood of emotions of memories of the endless hours I spent in hospital rooms with Jeremy. It was more than I could take. So my mom convinced me that it was time to move in with her. I agreed. I have loved my time in Heber. I love the friends that my children and I have made. But it is time to try and create a new normal for us. Normal in Heber was Jeremy there. It hasn't been the same since he left and it never will. I am going back to pack up and then we are moving to Mesa. I don't really know how I feel about it. I just feel like I want to disappear. I did, however, find that driving the freeways of Phoenix is very theraputic. I have done it twice and there is a healing feeling from driving fast with the radio blaring. Luckily gas prices have dropped.