Thursday, August 12, 2010

the pot calling the kettle.....

So I see this lady in my neighborhood walking ALL DAY LONG!!! No water or liquids with her. Especially in the summer. She is a stick. I "lovingly" call her anorexic lady. I have often wondered if she eats anything, since her bones stick out all over her body. (That's why she is a stick.) My question was answered this morning at the bus stop when she was smoking a cigarette and drinking a 24oz sugar free Rock Star. My heart fell and I thought, poor lady. She has serious problems. On the way home, I realized....Uh, so the bulimic lady is telling the anorexic lady that she has problems? WOW......

Speaking of problems, I suffer from panic anxiety disorder. Poor Karl, I freak out every time he leaves the house. I swear he isn't going to come back. I go into such a panic that I have to binge and purge. So my psychiatrist put a name on it, now lets work on the issue. Im so impatient. My dad has the patience of Job. I have the patience of like a minute. My father apparently was so patient, that he forgot to include patience in my DNA.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I do not have too much time on my hands anymore. I am super busy and super retarded. I apologize if you have asked me to do something and I have forgotten. I feel so scatterbrained. At least this time, I haven't forgotten to pick up a child from school....poor mel.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

too much time

This is what happens when I have a break in school....I think everyone should have a break and go and pull my daughter of school and take her shopping for new clothes. She is so much more fun to dress than I am. I think if I buy another anything for Kenz, the other three will revolt and Kenz will officially become the snobbiest diva on the continent. So I had to get my hair done, of course and then went and "rescued" Mel from the depths of boredom in her fifth hour and we hit the mall. What a wise use of her cell phone.........text from Mel at 1210pm this afternoon: 5th hour is starting all we r doin is read SOS hurry and save me.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I apologize that I have only been posting about school lately. But it is all that is on my mind these days. Semester is over and I ended with 4 A's and one B. Not too shabby after all these years, I would say.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


Im trying to study for my org chem final and I am at a loss.......Why does it have to be comprehensive? I knew a lot of this stuff, but I can't remember all the freakin rules anymore....AHHHH I just needed to vent a little before I exploded with frustration.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

two and a half finals to go

Only two and a half finals to go and I have finished my first semester at ASU!!! YAY!!! ( one of my finals is two parts and they are both online, I did the first part, so that's where the half comes from) I'm pretty excited for myself. I really didn't know that I had it in me to do the kinds of things that I did. I get a three week break and then start back on June 1st with summer school.

CONGRATULATIONS to my brothers Nate, Sam, and Jake for putting in the time this semester too! Nate is finally finished with his residency and moving to Arizona for a job. Sam is graduating law school in a couple weeks and then moving to South Bend for a job. And Jake is finishing his semester at ASU with me. He graduates in December. (Becca, come to school with me. Jason, get your butt home and in college so I won't be the only student in the family.) As it is right now, I will graduate in Fall 2011.

Saturday, May 1, 2010


We went hiking up the Superstition mountain today. We made it about half way up with the three younger kids. Mel went on a camp hike with the YW instead. Cameron talked the entire time up and back. Brandon made friends with every lizard and other hikers on the trail. Cameron told everyone he was so glad that he wore his hat because it was keeping him dark.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

tough cosmos

After a suggestion from my cousin, Aaron, and encouragement from my family, I started going to ARP meetings. It has brought alot of peace to my life and has also opened my eyes to other things. I thought image was everything, but now I am like who the hell cares? Personally, Cosmo I have something to say to you and your magazines...I love my breast size the way it is. I don't care that I am only a 34B padded push up bra, I think I look really cute in my shirts with my little bumps. Why do I NEED to increase it a size or two. So what if I have to purchase my bikini tops in the little girl section and my bikini bottoms in the super large! I think I look sexy. Never looked better. I don't want to kill my self to be the size 2 that you tell me to be. I'm quite happy with my medium size. Get over it Woman's World! I like being a pear shape....pears are succulent and delicious. Who wouldn't want to be one?

On a side note, Do I really need you to tell me 30 things I can do with a naked man? I mean come on? How hard is that to figure out. And honestly, how do you know what sex positions I have and haven't tried?

.........I still have a long way to go to be in recovery, but I am progressing. Relying on the Lord is the key to recovery, but isn't that the true key to life?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


So when I came to a crossroad in life in August, I decided that I needed to finish my education. I started at ASU on January 19th. It is kind of odd being there and I have to remind myself that I am like ten years older than most of these kids. I am feeling like I am young again. I guess since I had to grow old in my twenties, because of the experiences that life threw at me, that I get to experience youth in my thirties. Yay! I think the biggest adjustment is that I realized that I am not "needed" as much as I used to be. EVERYONE depended on me to do everything for them. Jeremy, Melodee, Kenz, the they are way more independent than they used to be. They are more stable and aren't leaching on me all the freakin time. Karl doesn't need me to do everything for him. He is quite healthy and capable of sustaining life with out me. It leaves me with all this time to focus on my school work.......strange how that works out. At least I still need me.